You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.
~ Dan Millman
Have you ever found yourself, reacting to situations in a way that you were not very proud of later? I’m sure all of you would have experienced emotional outbursts at one point or the other in life. It’s natural, human beings are emotional animals, and feeling things is not at all bad.
But have you been a victim of the line of thoughts that bother post an outburst? Many times we tend to react irrationally to trivial things just because there is no proper structure to the thought process that follows after an emotional trigger. In this blog piece, I will highlight the importance of self-awareness and the critical part it plays in how to channel your emotions well. If your way of handling feelings is unhealthy; I can assure you that you’re going to benefit from the four suggestions that are shared below. Come, read on my friend.
If you’re in your twenties, now is the maximum time you should work on developing your personality because that is going to stay with you for life, and if you learn to manage your emotions well you are going to lead a much happier life. Here are 4 well-researched and tested-out ways that have helped me manage myself and lead a good quality life; I’m sure this will add value to you-
1. Acknowledge and Accept- The very first step is to accept; if you think that there has been an external trigger that will cause an emotional response- acknowledge and accept it. Having a clear understanding of the triggers will help you calibrate your responses in a better way causing lesser turmoil later. You would have found yourself trying to ignore your feelings, trust me it doesn’t help in the longer run. The best way is to come to terms with the fact that an external trigger has occurred that will cause an emotional response- can be good or bad. Now the question is how to cruise through it. Self-awareness will be the main attribute of acknowledging your emotions.
2. Refrain from immediate reactions- I want to start the second recommendation by sharing some advice that I received from my sister a couple of days back- I was in a tough situation that caused a lot of unhealthy emotional responses within me, she told me a simple way to deal with it. Guess what that was? DO NOT DEAL WITH IT IMMEDIATELY, rather continue with your day-to-day chores, then gradually you’ll find a way to deal with it when you are most relaxed. The human brain is notorious to present the best solutions for any problem when it’s calm.
An agitated mind can make the worst of decisions, so it’s best if you can refrain to take any spontaneous actions while you’re distressed. Rather continue with your regular tasks like — taking your pet for a walk, talking to a friend, cooking a meal, or whatever work you want to do in a day. After the spontaneous wave of feelings has alleviated — write down what bothers you. I’ve emphasized the importance of writing things down several times in the previous blog posts also. It gives massive clarity on things. Speaking to someone you trust can also help.
3. Say NO to boxing up- The previous suggestion is to not make any decisions in a flustered state, but you might tend to box up what you feel and move on. This can prove to be an unhealthy way to deal with emotions, leading to passive aggression-backed responses and no real solutions. Never suppress what you feel, rather find out healthy ways to express it. Instantaneous reactions should be discouraged, rather go for delayed reactions when you are more cognizant of the trigger and have better solutions to manage yourself.
4. Therapy helps- To every one of you who thinks therapy doesn’t help and is just another way of making money by people who promise to be therapists. Trust me on this, try to give it a shot; it can do wonders. Before doubling down on the fact that therapy doesn’t work, keep it an open option. You can find yourself in situations where finding people to speak to about your problems can be difficult; taking professional help can prove to work out in terms of suggestions around behavioral changes that can improve your emotional well-being.
If you learn to manage yourself well your quality of life will improve significantly. Letting out is good; the way in which you let your emotions out will make an impact in a positive or negative way. So make sure you make a wise choice. Initially, you’ll have to make a conscious call to refrain from reacting immediately; gradually better response to external triggers will become an innate way to react. There is an amazing book by Harvard Business Review called Emotional Intelligence that you can read to increase your Emotional Quotient and to better manage yourself. Try reading it to learn more about the topic.
Hi friend, thanks for reading this blog post. Do share it with your friends and family as they might benefit from it. 🙂
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