Happiness is a personal choice.
I was speaking to my sister on a phone call yesterday, she didn’t sound in high spirits.
She’s a makeup artist, and as an artist and a freelancer, it takes a huge amount of self-initiative to look out for ways to improve your happiness quotient.
I’m sure there would be many times when you felt a strong bout of unhappiness.
How to Overcome Unhappiness?
Before we dive in, you need to understand the varied components of happiness and mental models that can increase the degree of joy that you experience.
3 Components of Happiness:
- Momentary Mood – How you feel at a given instance.
- Life Satisfaction – How do you feel about your life as a whole? (Consider a 6–8 months time frame)
- Assessment of Specific Life Domains – Health, work, relationships, finance, etc.
Often times you get confused- Is my entire life sh*tty or is it just this particular moment?
95% of the time it will be momentarily sadness.
What factors affect happiness?
Psychological Research suggests there are 3 factors responsible for happiness-
- Genetics (biology and heredity) – 50 %
- Intentional Activities ( behavioral choices, thinking patterns, etc.)- 40 %
- Circumstances (sex, ethnicity, income, education, geography, etc.) – 10 %
The first 50 % is not your field to play, the remaining 50 % is. Intentions will define if you lead a fulfilled or sad life.
Happy people experience hardships just like you and me, their response to difficult times is filled with resilience.
I have an interesting mental model for you called the PERMA Model which was used by Dr. Martin Seligman, who is a renowned researcher in the field of Positive Psychology in America.
What does PERMA Stand for?
Positive Emotions: Feeling of joy.
Engagement: Flow state generated by Deep Work.
Relationships: Deeper, Positive, Nurturing, and Rewarding relationships.
Meaning: Serving a purpose larger than one’s own needs.
Accomplishments: Mastery over a subject.
How Can I Feel Happier?
Let’s dive into the details of 8 consolidated ways to help you increase your happiness metric backed by my personal experience-
Find a Tribe
Having meaningful relationships with happy people will have a tremendous impact on your own happiness equation.
Scientists from Yale University performed research on How to spread Happiness.
They found interesting factors pertaining to individual happiness-
- You’ll be happier if you’re surrounded by happy people.
- Each happy friend will increase your chance of happiness by 9%.
- Geographical proximity with happy family members and friends matters.
- Pet owners are happier and healthier as compared to non-pet owners, get yourself a furry friend.
Your vibe attracts your tribe.
The bottom line: Surround yourself with merry people and feel the happiness penetrating within yourself.
Practice Gratitude
Journaling is a good habit. I’m sure you would have read or heard about the benefits of journaling.
Do you wonder what can you journal about?
Write things you’re grateful for. It’s that simple. If you find 5 minutes before bedtime or in the morning after waking up.
Think about 5 things that you are grateful for and jot them down. Live in the moment and experience the bliss.
Be more of Tigger than Eeyore.
If you think about someone fondly, make sure you let them know. Compliment people often. Express gratitude to your family, friends, and colleagues time and again.
The bottom line: You’ll be blessed with abundance if you’re more grateful for what you already have.
Have Goals
Living life intentionally is a MANTRA for a fulfilling life.
Rather than living paycheck to paycheck, have personal goals. It need not be massive like starting a million-dollar business.
Small goals like – losing extra pounds, playing a sport, or reading daily- are a few examples.
Purpose-filled life will not only increase your happiness, but also several studies suggest your work life will improve.
1.7X higher job satisfaction and 1.4X more engaged work are concrete benefits of the above approach.
The bottom line: Leading an intentional, goal-oriented life is vital for a fuller life.
Look for Solutions
No one on the planet is free from problems. What differentiates a winner from a loser is the attitude toward the problems.
I heard an interesting podcast by HBR – The Secrets to Better Problem Solving. Here’s the summary for you-
- Don’t jump into immediate solutions, reframe the problem instead.
- Slow Elevator Problem-Solving Technique– Look from an objective perspective and ways outside the problem to solve it.
- Eliminate the root cause of the problem.
“Simple-minded people find simple solutions to their problems.”
― Bangambiki Habyarimana, The Great Pearl of Wisdom
Check out this article for smart tips on problem-solving –
The bottom line: Rather than engaging in negative talk about your problem, try resolving it by taking the help of the frameworks described above.
Conquer your Mind
Do you find yourself ruminating more on negative thoughts?
It’s human nature, we remember bad experiences more than good ones. Being aware that you’re spending more time in the negative self-talk like “I’m obsessing over lack of money”, is how you’ll get closer to stopping yourself from engaging in pessimism.
Optimism is part genetic, part learned. Unfortunately, if genetics have not done you good, look out for ways to consciously adopt positive self-talk.
I’m not asking you to be ignorant of reality, all I’m saying is to acknowledge the challenges and figure out ways to overcome them.
Mind can be your best friend or worst enemy.
– Kabira
Check out this article to discover 6 ways to be mentally strong –
The bottom line: Adopt Meditation to conquer your mind and make it your best friend.
De-Clutter
My friend is obsessed when it comes to organizing, if she’s having a bad day I usually see her organizing her cupboard.
I’m not a very organized person, so I decided to give it a shot.
Organizing things gives immense satisfaction- it’s good for both the mind and body. After you look at neater surroundings it makes you feel relaxed.
NY Times Bestselling Author Gretchen Rubin, swears by de-cluttering and its benefits on the mood. A few tips that can help you-
- Fold things neatly.
- Throw away extra paper bits.
- Organize your closet by color. ( This is my friend’s technique)
- Avoid hoarding. Spend money on experiences rather than things.
The bottom line: De-clutter your surroundings to de-clutter your mind.
Service to Others
Service to mankind is service to God.
There’s tremendous joy in helping people around you. Gestures of kindness once in a while will bring inner satisfaction.
If I delve deep into philosophy, the intent of human birth is to provide for people. Then what made you think that if you look out for only yourself by being selfish, you’re going to lead a happy life?
Help people around you, bring a smile to their faces, and see how the happiness reflects back onto you.
The bottom line: Make a decision to help people accomplish their goals, and see how the path clears up for yourself.
Get Moving
A gentle stroll has the power to lift up your mood.
Neuroscientist Shane O’Mara believes that plenty of regular walking unlocks the cognitive powers of the brain like nothing else.
Try to remember instances when you were sad and called a friend, while you spoke to her or him you felt better. You were walking and talking, so there are two attributes that made you happy one is the good friend listening and the other is walking.
The bottom line: Spend more time on your feet rather than sitting, while brisk walking or gentle strolling.
To Sum up –
How to Begin Feeling More Happy?
- Surround yourself with Merry people.
- Practice Gratitude
- Have purpose-filled Goals
- Focus less on problems and more on solving them
- Do exercises such as Meditation to control your mind and give more room to positive emotions
- De-clutter your surroundings
- Help people around you
- Get Moving! Incorporate Walking or any other Sport into your Daily Routine
You can also check out this Post for mood-uplifting hacks –
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